Values of Friendship

I find that having friends during tough times is better than anything in the world, especially true friends. I sometimes think that I'm quite unfortunate, that I've always been the target for manipulation by people because I don't know how to be on my guard. The only thing that I have to say now is...I'm glad to have real friends. I only have three true friends in this world...kitsune-san, kitsune-sama and Jae but that's more than enough for me. With them around, I know that even if my world becomes as dark as night or if the most dreadful things happen, I can always turn to them. I can depend on any one of them with my problems...I can turn to any one of them for support and they'd give it to me without question. But the problem is, I find, that they are too nice!

When I come to them with problems, they help as much as they can. It seems that I'm always depending on them, always going to them like a child in distress. I find that it's unfair to them because it seems that I'm the only one that has problems. I am like a delicate, weak being that knows not how to deal with the rest of the world on my own. >.<

I know they are all trying to help me through my toughest times in life but I feel that I haven't lived up to the bargain of the friendship equation. It makes me feel so guilty...so bad that I haven't been there for these three people so dearest to my heart when they need me! It makes me think that I'm such a bad person because I can't be there when they need someone to vent to and yet I use them all the time...It's almost as though I'm using my friends like tools and it makes me so...guilty...What should I do??